Hash Trash - Run #406

Hash Trash - Run #406
Date: Sunday, May 8th, 2004 @ 1:00PM
Location: Town of Mount Royal

Hares: Old Aged Pensioner (OAP), Brillo
Hashers: Abbot, Bl*w Job, Boner, Cheap Thrills, Dead Animal, Dead Dick, Deep Bush, Fig Leaf, Flipper, Foxy Lady, Going Down, Mustapha Kunt, Numbskull, Organ Grinder, Passes Wind, Pinky Puss, Pop-a-Weenie, Sexual Life of a Camel, Sinnerbad, Skinflint, Turkish Delight, Yogi, Just Matthew

Hash Scribe: Sinnerbad

“The following are a true record of the events as recorded by the scribe of this hash.
Those who do not agree can go f*ck themselves.

After last week’s fiasco with Figleaf claiming he fit into a dress better than I did I realized I had to put this fallacy to rest once and for all. My words to be precise were “I will show that daft c*nt and everyone else at the hash I do have bigger tits than him”. Donned a tight white tank top made sure the tits were in top form and headed out. I have been called an “ exotic frontie “ in some lesser hashes.
F*cking got lost; the hares give directions from the east.
When the f*ck does the English live in the east. Sinnerbad, you gotta love her, can find her way around or should I say under any lad under 30 in any city in the world, but cannot fu*king ever find her way to the ON ON.

After last week’s run I knew our hares would have to put on quite a show to do better, not too sure if they could pull it off …..

OAP, Takes a rest and a cold one after setting the run

THE RUN
Everyone turned up or did they; I arrived just in time to see all and sundry loafing on OAP’S driveway. Looks like Brillo chose a great day to host the run
. As usual our hares got everyone together to explain the makings.” We used flour and all different colour chalk”
Now that’s a check, no that’s a tit declared 30 hashers, shut to f*ck up and listen. The trail goes that way declare the hares
Off we go down De La Savanne, the pack stayed together for the most part of the next 3 km. The markings were faint and barely discernable because OAP recycles everything, guess so was the chalk & flour he claimed to use.
On Jean talon we hit a great checkback 5, pack split ,FRB’s Sloc , K*nt,Sinnerbad, Figleaf, Abbott & DA..On trail we headed along Victoria and into the underground. 
What the f*ck, I looked at Figleaf, we do not have tickets, there was the Old fart waiting at the booth tickets in hand . He hands me a ticket and a teenie weenie piece of paper.’ GETT OF AT DU COLLEGE ( god damn English can’t spell French… or English) . Figleaf and I arrive at the platform to find Abbott & DA already there. Within 10 minutes everyone arrives, even the walkers. Going Down looks really Hot*, she has cum late with our Kosher Hasher Just Matt.(he crashed at her place….I thought it was usually called shagged)
Train arrives and we all pile in , sweaty and smelly on a Sunday afternoon with all the natives in their Sunday best. Abbott and DA decide to f*ck with the natives and begin to sing “Father Abraham” . Imagine 30 fu* kers doing jumping jacks on the train singing in English . Commuters looked trapped , “stop the god damn train I wanna get off.”

We emerge or should I say ran like hell down the exit up the 200 stairs Montreal underground is famous for, with murmurs of excuse me . Hit the other side of town at Decarie. Daft K*nt, almost gets wiped off to la la land when he steps off the curb without looking. The pack is now reassembled and having a great time , but the f*cking markings are so few and so far apart. Guess the hares were too old to bend, use the Goddamn flour , you had that squirt thing.
Hit checkback 5 on Stinson and Cote de Liesse .then he took us into town, here he split the trail into a wimp / Rambo. 
Pop a weenie, Yogi, Bl*w job, Organ took the wimps and Figleaf , Sinnerbad , DA, Foxy,Thrills,SLOC,Turkish,Kunt,Abbott and Skinflint ran the Rambo. Checks were many, trail was sometimes difficult to find and markings were faint.

Our visitor from North Carolina OPEE did not cum, Figleaf was hosting the yank, he should have sent him to Brenda’s flat. Everyone knows that any American that shacks up with her always cums, heavens the Kosher hasher Just Matt has cum for 2 weeks in a row, and he even found his way to Going Down all on his own .Please note he is no longer a virgin.

Trail was great , run was a bit longer than usual , but then again I took the Rambo trail. Sloc was nowhere to be found, FRB’s and middle pack staked on Rambo together as check were numerous and we all had to “ bash on “ together to find the on trail. Around this time DA declared “ I want to puke”, I thought it was because the wuss had run too far, but no the “bugger” Figleaf was “blowing off” and it stank .He claims it was the curry dinner we had all had the night before. 
Arrived at Kindersley and then hit Braille, finally, beer. SLOC had arrived 5 minutes ahead of us. The rest of the wimps arrived 2 minutes after with the stragglers all arriving soon after. Beer & more Beer was consumed, Boner calls circle

CIRCLE

Boner strides in manfully…..at least he tried to

We had a couple of returnees like Pinkie Puss and Numbskull, K*nt and Turkish
As we all know Turkish got some taxpayers money a few weeks ago and she promptly missed the last 2 runs because she buggered off to Boston with claims of conference, work and such crap. . 

TURKISH DELIGHT : 

DOWN DOWNS
Amah OAP
Dead Dick Demonstration of DD
Just Matt Drink real beer / not light american crap
Dead Dick No Cash / spent it all at “piss up” Hurleys Pub
Skintflint Changed e mail address/ then gave it to hashers /why the f*ck
Trills, Poo bear, Late cummers Mother’s day
Hares Shit run
Hares handing out adverts/ floss cards
Boner, Flipper, K*un, Turkish Returnees
Hares Shitty directions to run
OAP F*cker had a birthday 69
Thrills Went to sex party
Thrills Bought a Bullet at sex party
Thrills Claiming bullet will make blokes obsolete
Amah Greased/ shit job with beer

TURKISH RA minces into circle

Boner C*nt missed the run
Figleaf Training too much
Just Matt Where the f*ck is Roses Pt. USA
Figleaf Blowing off on trail and trying to kill DA
Thrills Not yapping as much on trail
Foxy Trills talks to f*cking much on trail
SLOC For finally trying to call on trail
Sinnerbad running in thongs
Just Matt Liked the in&out of metro tunnels
Figleaf cheap c*nt 
Kunt being a blind k*un, steps in way of car
Sinnerbad, Turkish, GoingDown, Flipper pale bitches
Numbskull being a dumb f*uk stats on site shite
Organ Dead last fu*ker

AWARDS : 

Where is the Crutch gentlemen……..

Numbskull Awarded to our resident Welshman that c*unt Organ Grinder for being dead last.z

Tours
Ottawa; Can we get a list of attendees please . Anyone needing housing should let Sinnerbad know by email.  Plastic Jesus has offered to arrange a hash House for us.

Sinnerbad
ON ON