Hash Trash - Run #399


Hash Trash - Run #399
Date: Sunday, March 28th 2004 @ 1:00PM
Location: Two Mountains

Hares: Flipper, Pop-a-Weenie
Hashers: Abbot, Boner, Cheap Thrills, Dead Animal, Fig Leaf, Foxy Lady, Humper, Jiffy Lube, Julius Seizure, Mudsticker, Passes Wind, SLOC, Skinflint, Slit digger, Just Wendy, Little Weenie, Just Dan (newcummer), Snoreplay (our visitor from Boston), plus Hares Flipper and Poppa-Weenie.

Hash Scribe: Abbot

Folks – you're gonna have to excuse the absence of F-words or doggie names in this write-up. Our favourite scribe – Sinnerbad – was off doing whatever she does in Hong Kong. Maybe filling in for what I’ve left out?

This run was set in Two Mountains (or Oka if your hash name is Humper), on a beautiful day for running. It was sunny but cool, with patches of snow disappearing rapidly up their own rear end into delightful patches of genuine English shiggy.

Chasing the trail, we soon disappeared in the general direction of the railroad tracks, following infrequent arrows in chalk, only laid where the ground tolerated chalk markings. There was a fair amount of guesswork on this trail, but mostly the marks re-appeared on the far side of the muddy fields and ditches. (There will be a collection to buy the hares some flour for their next run). Slit Digger was in great form as the day’s Front Running Bastard but occasionally seemed to re-appear calling on the trail after some incredible short cut. He gave the rules lawyers (what rules??!!) lots to argue about after the run. Humper, who had been touring the wilds of Oka some miles away looking for the start, found a bit of the trail but then decided discretion was the better part of valour and returned to base to face the music. Fig Leaf and SLOC, our usual FRBs, were slow this day due to completing a 10K race a couple of hours before. The excuses these guys come up with - it wasn’t even a half-marathon, and they were tired!!

At the On-In, DA demonstrated his pig-trough method of eating pop-corn by burying his face in the bowl. Slit Digger’s new babe showed she could out-gross DA by burping up white stuff every few minutes, while still charming most of the hashers present – no mean feat. Boner set up a couple of stooges by handing them chalk to eventually prove they committed some kind of graffiti sin on the trail, and Mudsticker cunningly set up Snoreplay for the back-to-back down-down sin of hash passion.

Almost everyone was nailed for a down-down of one kind or another, with GM Boner happily mixing in sins with his regular duties. Just Dan was the newcummer. L’il Weenie was welcomed back, but had been gone so long Boner didn’t remember his name. The hares were recognised for a great trail, DA for being generally obnoxious, Abbot and Slit Digger were framed for graffiti on the trail, and poor old Fig Leaf and SLOC were set on an in the pub marathon around the chairs because they hadn’t collapsed yet.

Our RA, Mudsticker, did a commendable job for one still hung over from her birthday celebrations the night before. She also managed to soak her remarkably tolerant beau, Snoreplay, after the back-to-back down-down for hash passion. This must be a hot-stuff relationship!! Poppa-Weenie called out the Mismanagement Team for disappearing into a restaurant during the Paddy’s Day hash run, but got nailed for calling out the wrong sin. As Boner explained, they were only lost. So that makes it all right then!

After some hash songs that had the bar patrons staring around the corner in amazement, Flipper reminded all and sundry that next Saturday is the Spring Bonnet 400th run Party!!!!! Yaaaayyyyyy!!! (Followed by the regular Sunday Hangover Run).

Attendees were: Abbot, Boner, Cheap Thrills, Dead Animal, Fig Leaf, Foxy Lady, Humper, Jiffy Lube, Julius Seizure, Mudsticker, Passes Wind, SLOC, Skinflint, Slit digger, Just Wendy, Little Weenie, Just Dan (newcummer), Snoreplay (our visitor from Boston), plus Hares Flipper and Poppa-Weenie.

For all you devotees, the Chatelaine Magazine Hand Job article will be forwarded to Numskull for possible inclusion on our web-site. (The secret is in using the right oils, folks!).  (The article can be found here in Adobe PDF format -ed).

On-on,

Abbot

 

On Back