Hash Trash - Run #397
ST-PATRICK'S DAY HASH 2004

Hash Trash - Run #397
Date: Sunday, March 14th 2004 @ 1:00PM
Location: St. Henri

Hares: Fig Leaf, Krystal Tits
Hashers: 6 of 9, Abbot, Bl*w Job, Boner, Cheap Thrills, Chili Bones, Dead Animal, Dead Dick, Eat Me, Fig Leaf, Flipper, Foxy Lady Fukloric, Gang Bang Tara, Hot Rod, Humper, Jiffy Lube, Just Glenn, Just Jason, Just Wendy, Kristal Tits, Launch Pad, Lemonentry, Mudsticker, Mustapha Kunt, Old Cheddar, Organ Grinder, Passes Wind, Pop-a-Weenie, Sexual Life of a Camel, Sinnerbad, Skinflint, Slit Digger, Total F**kup, Turkish Delight, Wet Spot, Whiney the Pooh 

Hash Scribe: Sinnerbad

“The following is a true record of the events as recorded by the Trini Bird Sinnerbad scribe for this week’s run”. Unfortunately the record is going to be a ‘Lhasa Apso’ potted version because I have been working my bum off so I could bugger off to the Caribbean for a week’s worth of sailing.

Man where should I start? I thought this was going to be easy, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to truly convey this Sunday’s sequence of events. Let’s get right to it. ON ON to:

THE RUN

Humper turned up in Montreal once more and brought some glorious running weather with him. The Wanker must be living right because he also brought out an unprecented 35 other hashers with him.

Our hare Krystal Mitts asked Fig Leaf to fill a hole and he gladly stepped up to the task. So he co hared with her and allowed us into his satin-sheeted bed. (ed.: Fig Leaf was the original hare for the event, but seeing as though Krystal Zits can’t cook, it was decided she should hare and he would cook, benefiting all hashers thereby.)

Almost everyone showed up in something green and for those ‘Bernese Mountain Dogs’ who did not, you know who you are……..

The run started at Fig Leaf’s with the smell of Irish stew in the air, Cheap Thrills showed up with the beer and everyone was in a hurry to get going. We congregated on the street so Total ‘Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever’ Up could play with his new toy, the camera. All you people with dirty minds who thought it was a rabbit get out of the gutter. (ed.: for more info on rabbits and assorted battery-operated gadgets, see any of the Harriettes at next week’s run.) Guess we all thought he would have gotten his live-in love Fukloric a little welcome gift.

The King was crowned none other that SLOC and his Queen Foxy Lady.

Down the street we ran, markings were awesome, then we hit the Parade and it was an amazing feeling to be able to view the parade and run at the same time. Down Guy Street, the FRB’S minus Slitdigger who was doing the “brilliant” daddy thing by running with Baby’s pushcart.
The middle pack was quite large with Dead D*ck, Humper, Just Allan, Turkish, Sinnerbad, Lemonentry, Abbot & Skinflint, Organ, and let’s not forget Krystal Bits who has this SAQ bag in her hand all the way. We lost Mudsticker, Flipper, Boner and Cheap Thrills somewhere along the way. Markings were supuberb on this trial, (ed.: this last word may or may not be a typo…) lots of well-marked checkbacks, signs of a well-hared run.

We shiggied, god knows where and ended up on God I don’t know the name of the ‘Norwegian Elkhound’ street (ed.: it was St-Patrick’s street) anyway it was wide, at that point we accosted Krystal and demanded to know what was in the bag. Out comes a ‘Schipperke’ bottle of Jameson and shot glasses. This Bird knows how to make a bunch of thirsty hashers scream for Bloody hell, we drank, wished each other happy St Paddy’s day and took off.

One marking we all saw was for the lads we call FRB’s it was check back 33, a check to the bridge, who did it, not one ‘Great Dane’.
We passed along the Locks to Atwater and headed to a beer stop.

Best ‘Golden Retriever’ beer stop I ever had, it was at Total’s LOVEE pad. Beautiful balcony, great place for a BBQ Total. Some beer, a couple more shots of Jameson, chased by beer. By this time some of us were quite content to sit and forget about the rest of the run especially Hotrod our resident walker who comes hashing in his dress shoes.

The last km was a ‘Great Pyrenees’; almost none ran, most crawled or walked jauntily.

ON ON

BONER : Calls Circle

Down Dows were many , so let’s get started

Slitdigger Pushcarting
SLOC & Foxy King & Queen 
Demo DD Slitdigger, Krystal, Figleaf
V*rg*ns Jason, Tara, Glenn
Hares For being ‘German Shepherd’ good
Baby Katie being the only true v*rg*n in the circle
Dead Animal What the ‘Rhodesian Ridgeback’ is on his chest
Returnees Total ‘Border Collie’ Up, Old cheddar, Whiney the Pooh, Eat me, 6 of 9, Hotrod, Launch Pad, Humper ,Wetspot, Wendy 

RA SINS MUDSTICKER

Wankers and Harriette’s alike, 35 ‘Australian Cattle Dogs’ all whispering at the same time sound like the ‘King Charles Spaniel’ roll of thunder, pardon me, lost my train of thought there for a while.

Sinnerbad Disobedience/shut the ‘Toy Poodle’ up to all circle for whispering
Krystal Change of clothing 
Lemonentry Fouling trail
Humper Tshirt promoting foreign beer/ what a poet
Organ hash Flashing those awesome legs
Turkish For feeling organ up
SLOC Overachiever/wanker
Slitdigger/jiffy lube On behalf of newly named HP
Fukloric Cumming late
SLOC & Sinnerbad Hash passion
Krystal NO green beer
Humper Birthday/ happy B’day ‘Irish Setter’ you was sung by all

The scribe wishes to give artistic recognition to Turkish for contributing this week’s beautiful artwork to the newsletter.

The On after at Fig Leaf’s was filled with the collective mummers of “great ‘Bouvier des Flandes’ stew, any more?” So we all headed out to McKibbin’s and dinner.

ON ON

The editor would like to point out that any incidents of the four-letter word, or any derivations thereof, starting with ‘f’, and ending with ‘k’, with a ‘c’ and a ‘u’ in the middle, but not necessarily in that order, were replaced by an italicized dog breed name. We hope this does not interfere with the enjoyment of the above trash. We also encourage you to ask for a ‘Labrador Retriever’ hard copy at the next run to view the original version complete with explicit cartoon artwork.