Hash Trash - Run #396

Hash Trash - Run #396
Date: Sunday, March 7th, 2004
Location: South Shore

Hares: Chili Bones and Dead Dick
Hashers: Organ Grinder, Passes Wind, Dead Animal, Foxy Lady, Pop-a-Weenie, Flipper, SLOC, Mudsticker, Fig Leaf, Mustakunt, Sinnerbad, Turkish Delight, Captain Canada, Krystal Tits, Slit Digger, Jiffy Lube, Just Lance 
Virgins: Just Andy, Just Sally

Hash Scribe: Sinnerbad

The drive to the ON ON started off very auspiciously with Slitdigger and SLOC both having to pull over on route 132 to get maps out of their booth. Appears our hares do not f*cking know where they live, cannot spell for shite either, Ultramart what the hell is that (damn English ..Ed).

Most of our regulars buggered off to Mt Tremblant for the weekend, we were all “pissed off” because we were not invited…until it rained all day Friday, let the f*ukers learn not to invite all and sundry. We could have had a orgy up there, we showed them. Fig Leaf did the rain dance and Krystal Tits prayed for sleet, rain and hail. The bastards could not even get up the hill after we were done with them. Word has it from a certain delightful lady that the group had to wear snow shoes to get their gear to and from the car. 

Finally we all get to the ON ON and who shows up but Turkish Delight, Flipper , Mustapha K*nt and Mudsticker. Bastards, guess we were all right to hang with after you had fallen on your asses enough. Mustapha Kunt did redeem himself by producing some perfectly chilled beer before the run for anyone who was interested. And it was free!!!!


A beautiful sunny day just perfect for pounding the concrete jungle of St Catherine. A good turnout of 22 hashers all dying to run so the “piss off” could commence.

Our 2 Virgin Hares were very kind to let a bunch of idiots into their neighbourhood regardless of what the natives would think after. Unfortunately they got the markings all mixed up between a checkback, false trail, tit, shit who cares lets get going was the cry from Dead Animal. Off we went along the street, 2 blocks down the pack stops, no f*uking markings. Trail picks up, along the river, over a beautiful wooden bridge and then we hit the cement. Pop-a-Weenie started limping, his hips hurt, Krystal Tits had a rough night before as she did the Moon hash and went out with SLOC at 1.30 am for yet another drink or did SLOC pay her to cum. She did the unspeakable by taking what Dead Dick called the Walkers Trail/Women. Last time I looked or should I say smelled Organ Grinder, Just Andy our 1st time guest, Captain Canada, all headed down the Women’s trail, p*ssy whipped bunch if you ask me. The running pack stayed together for the first half but eventually broke off into 3 groups. The FRB’S , we all know who those bastards are(the arse with the pink whistle , SLOC, Figleaf, lets not forget the Ku*t), the joggers and the fast walkers.

Lots of shiggy, lots of cars and a long, long run along St Laurent. Out of the blue the walkers intersect with us. Organ Grinder then tells Sinnerbad who is now down to a fast walk because she also ran the moon hash (Sloc did not pay her to cum so she headed home at 1.30 am) that he lost the DFL crutch he was given last week….. for what….. being Dead F*ucking Last last of course. Can someone explain how the f*ck he lost the crutch, Wanker if you ask me. Smart ass, he left it at Abbot’s, some birk saw it and nicely returned it to him. Nice try Organ !!!!!

This was an A to A run with the FRB’s returning and pissing on Dead Dick’s driveway to make sure they marked the spot where they arrived first, then came the walkers and Pop-a Weenie and Sinnerbad. More beer from K*nt’s booth, by now his sins were forgiven and he was a smiling K*nt. Where the hell was Mudsticker , guess she was back daydreaming about getting shagged during her afternoon nap.

The shards of the pack finally staggered into the on-in, back at A. A well marked run on a beautiful cement jungle.


Mustapha K*nt, Dead Animal and Fig leaf are sitting having a drink at Burleys and Fig leaf says ”my girlfriend is so stupid she bought a sewing machine and she can’t even sew.”
That’s nothing says Mustapha K*nt, “my wife bought a car and she can’t drive”
“Got ya both beat there,” says Dead Animal, “My wife’s going to Hawaii, bought two dozen condoms and she doesn’t even have a penis”.

Typical hasher…..f*cking clueless/ opinion of the scribe who by the way won the Montreal Hash House Pulitzer so she has literary licence


Flipper starts
Sinnerbad: Hard headed, she manages to break glass
Captain Canada demonstration of a DD
Returnees Fig leaf, Mudsticker, Captain Canada
Hares Dead Dick & Chili Bones
Mudsticker Trying hard to improve British / US relations…i.e. Sexual relations
SLOC Sexism/ apparently he was the f*cker who marked the walkers trail
Figleaf Made sure he got shagged before dinner/ then picked fight with Girlfriend after dinner.


Turkish Delight 
Jiffy Lube Auto hashing 
Just Andy& Sally New Cummers 
Hares Crap markings
C. Canada & M. C*nt Interrupting the RA
SinnerbBad Pulitzer Prize for her hash trash
Pop-A-Weenie Asking Sinnerbad for a massage
Organ Grinder For trying to have a waz on the trail
Dead Animal, Mudsticker, Organ Grinder, Foxy Lady and anyone else with a claim British blood : England’s defeat at 6 Nations Cup.

Circle closed ON ON

The hares provided a delightful meal for everyone and lots of cold ones for everyone. Thank You Hares!!!!!!

On On

On Back