Hash Trash - Run #319

Sunday October 27, 2002 - The Halloween Hash

Hares: Turkish Delight & Mustapha Kunt

Running Retards: Abbott, Skinflint, Dead Animal, Foxy Lady, Klignon, Pay Per Sex, Total F**kup, Just Michael, Fig Leaf, Speed Hump.

Walking Wankers: Yogi, Danger Girl, Just Dawn, Krystal Tits, Old Cheddar, Eat Me, Foul Balls.

The premise:

Halloween has always been one of my favouritest times of the year. I can�t get enough fake blood and tacky purple wigs. Any excuse to dress up like a hobo or a hooker is good for me. The hash of course is a prime venue for this type of behaviour. Once more around the block in costume from Turkish Delight�s we went.

 The costumes:

Why break what ain�t fixed? Mustapha Kunt was again impersonating a person of middle eastern persuasion, or at any rate someone who like long white outfits and fancy headgear. Convincing as ever.

Turkish Delight came as Brunnhilde and had us all trying to remember the storyline to Wagner�s mind-numbing �The Ring Cycle�, not to be confused with the new suspense/horror movie �The Ring� which most likely has a much more plausible plot.

Wagner�s �Broom-Hilda� is the daughter of the wisest woman on earth, a goddess, much like Turkish Delight herself,  and her father is a thieving murderer, not unlike most people at the hash. She is told to kill her half-brother and instead protects the incestuous swine, to no avail. He is killed by the rapist husband of his adulterous twin sister. Broom-Hilda�s father then strips her of her semi-godhood and sentences her to being left on a mountain top and ravaged by any man who should pass by. No doubt a storyline inspired by true hash events.

Best costume eventually went to Klignon. His interpretation of static cling was quite charming. Just Dawn was not willing to admit to donating the leopard print thong tacked to his shirt however so that mystery is intact. Also in fierce competition for top awards were Yogi  and Danger Girl as the red and blue Crayola crayons respectively. Worst costume had to be Just Michael. The only thing a bit out of the norm was a really tacky tie. He was also reproached for having hashed throughout Asia and then conveniently forgotten his hash name. Must have been a good one.

Other appearances: Abbott as the Kamikaze Vampire, Skinflint as �Wahiba�, Dead Animal as a footie hooligan (what happened to Dennis the Menace!?!?), and Pay Per Sex as an oversized kid wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle custom.

The run:

It was nice. There was a caribou stop near the Portuguese park, all very scenic. There was another stop at a bar on Cherrier and St-Denis. The pack split in three. Some kids accused us of being �4 days early�, for the Halloween costumes I guess.  It was kinda cold out and Foul Balls had his scarf wrapped around his ears. Overall the walking hare seemed kinda lost, but thankfully the numerous street signs were there to guide us back to the on in�

 The on in:

What better dish on a chilly October afternoon than Dr. Delight�s chili! but first we had to muddle through another circle. Just Eric was named Paperless and quickly the crowd became annoyed. How unimaginative! The JM therefore had to rename him on the spot to something more appealing: Pay Per Sex. The unlucky hasher was then shoed off before we could think of a better title and thus waste a third beer on one naming.

That�s pretty much all I remember, apart from the costume awards. That and Mustapha Kunt nearly whacked himself out on the wall during the Chinese Fire Drill. There were probably also some down downs for fouling trail, returning, hash pashion, visiting.

Finally, I remember also that yours truly, the respected Krystal Tits, got a down down for leaving temporarily. I know what you�re thinking! Who is going to write hash trash now?? That�s right, because I have been tireless in my dedicated recounting, ever on time and thorough in my description, never ceasing the quest for all that is noble and true about our harried horde, to the last detail and regularly, like clockwork I have put forth my best efforts, with blood sweat and tears� and now!.. what now!? Who will take up the powerful position of sacred hash scribe!?!

 Nominees: Speed Hump (who already is hash scribe if not in name, then in deed)

Well, we�ll see what we can do about this, right JMs?

 on on

Comments, questions and suggestions can go to hell.

-Gulp/KT